There’s something I’d like to share with you that could change your whole viewpoint about your relationship and relationships in general.

Here it is…

You. Can’t. Fix. Your. Partner!

Sound simple?

In theory, yes, but in practice, it’s not so easy.

Many relationships have one partner who is a ‘fixer’ – ‘fixers’ are people who get into relationships thinking (consciously/sub-consciously) that they will be able to ‘fix’ or change their partner.

In my experience in working with couples in marriage counseling is that it is not possible to change someone – each person needs to a) want to change and b) work on themselves to make the change.

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So, if this sounds familiar to you and you think that you may be a ‘fixer’ yourself, here is relationship advice for you to stop your fixing ways:

• Accept that your partner needs to want to work on him/herself 

• If your partner is not aware that he/she needs to work on certain things, subtly and sensitively help him/her come to this realization 

• Help your partner to take action steps to achieve this, without offering your solution 

• Have patience, understanding and be a support system (but not a problem- solver) through the process 

• Last but not least, turn things around and scrutinize yourself to see where you need to work on yourself (all of us could do with a little self-improvement).

If your need to fix goes deeper than this and stems from a childhood issue, or past experience, this may require a little more work and perhaps some individual counseling.

Access your Free Guide HERE To Beat The Bickering: 5 Simple and Proven Tips To Communicate Without Clashing

 

 

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Life throws curveballs sometimes. The glitches that can hit everyday healthy relationships can include illness, financial issues, infertility, the death of a close friend or family member or any of a long list of localized problems.

While undeniably very difficult things to deal with, these situations put you and your partner at a crossroads of sorts. You can choose to give up, to blame or to be angry – all natural reactions. You can also choose to take the more difficult but more rewarding path. That is to face life head-on and to cherish the thread of good through it all.

Take into account that the decision of how to handle your partner in relation to this challenge can and will affect your relationship for better or for worse for the rest of your lives.

You still have each other. Staying committed to your partner through hard times is key in overcoming challenges. Use that and allow it to be your strength.

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Here’s relationship advice on ways to cope through the hard times:

▪ Write a list of all the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Share your lists with each other.
▪ Spend an appointed amount of time each week, on a set day, and make room for connection
▪ Face each day with optimism. Express gratitude and share with each other one good thing that is going on.
▪ Find a helpful support group if necessary. Discuss if it would be best for you to attend separately or as a couple.

Make each day be for growth, closeness and love.

Access your Free Guide HERE To Beat The Bickering: 5 Simple and Proven Tips To Communicate Without Clashing

 

 

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