I am Rachel Moheban Wachtel, LCSW and today’s issue is “How to deal with projection in your marriage.” Arthur writes:
My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years and recently she started going to yoga, meditating, and practicing Buddhism. I support her all the way, but don’t practice or believe in these rituals myself. She constantly tells me I need to go to class with her and begin practicing so I can live a more purposeful life. I’m a very happy man and don’t feel like I it. I also don’t appreciate being forced to meditate or participate in any of these practices. Can you share some relationship advice on how I can address this problem?
You need to gently communicate to your wife that while you’re happy she has found purpose and tranquility in her life, these practices and rituals don’t resonate with you in the way they do with her. She cannot project her views on you as you have your own sense of self and what makes you happy. You can participate in a few classes to support her, but she has to realize you are a separate person with your own ideas and interests. Sit your wife down and explain to her that while you completely support her, you feel “xyz”
Thank you Arthur for sending in your question and If YOU want relationship advice on a question/issue, please write to Rachel@TheRelationshipSuite.com
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There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t find myself in a discussion in my counseling sessions that consists of someone looking for a little dating advice.
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A relationship is actually much healthier when each individual goes into the situation not looking for someone to “fill a void” but to simply add to the quality of life they already have.