Erica Writes: I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago and recently have been dating quite a bit. However, every time I meet someone I like and we get close he pushes me away after 3-4months and I end up getting very hurt.  This has become a pattern in my life-can you please give me relationship advice?

Erica, you need to figure out if you are indeed ready for a relationship

  1. If you are, then focus on how you are behaving with these guys you are dating and what they are telling you through their actions and signals.
  2. It seems that you may be attracting men with commitment issues and could be missing the signs.  Men give off plenty of signs within the first 3 months of dating.  The issue could be with them, not you.
  3. Dating is not just about going out—it is important to pay attention to how the guy you are seeing is acting with you. Is he behaving in ways you like? Does he have traits you admire? Dating is a skill where you learn about people and what you will settle for and will not settle for and it can also teach you a lot about yourself and your needs—sometimes the universe even sends us challenging situations and people that test us so that we are forced to grow and learn about ourselves. If we are willing to do the work, this ultimately helps us evolve and choose better people for us.

Best Wishes to you Erica. And for all of you watching feel free to email me at Rachel@theRelationshipSuite.com if you want me to answer any relationship questions.

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Sandra writes:
Dear Rachel I recently got married and am having issues with my 8-year-old step- daughter. At times she has an attitude and I don’t want to have to deal with it. My husband has a lot of guilt around his divorce and not living with her full time and she manipulates this to get her way. Can you give me relationship advice on how I can deal with this in a way where I don’t resent her or my husband?
Sandra, step parenting can be tough.

· You need to set a boundaries with his daughter on what you will and will not tolerate. You may not get immediate results but if you are consistent the child will eventually respect the limits. Trust me, she wants you to like her too, and when she has attitude, let her know you will not tolerate it. Children respect adults who set strong limits with them.

· You also need to understand that you don’t have to spend all your time with her when she is around. You can give her and her father the space to spend time alone. The less invested you are, the better it will be for you. Your husband may eventually step up as he is stuck dealing with her attitude on his own.

· You can also speak objectively to your husband about her. Stay calm and give him your opinion on the impact of her behavior and how ultimately it is best for her to have limits and consequences. This takes time, but remember, as long as you set your own strong limits, you are modeling and operating in the best interest of your relationship and the family.

Best Wishes to you Sandra. And for all of you watching feel free to email me at Rachel@theRelationshipSuite.com if you want me to answer any relationship questions.

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