The holiday season can be a time of joy and togetherness but it can also be a time of stress, conflict and family tension. If you want to avoid conflicts in your relationship, here are 9 tips to overcome challenges during the holidays.

▪ Keep your expectations realistic 
We tend to over-idealize the holidays which only leads to disappointment. If you have a gift in mind do not set your partner up for failure, let them know what you want.

▪ Always approach family events as a team 
Make sure you are putting your own family first. Dealing with In-laws can be stressful.Your partner needs to know that you are committed to him/her first and they are the priority.

▪ Talk to your partner about finances and create a budget together 
Make sure your finances are not stressing you out. Discuss how much you want to spend on each other and family so you are both on the same page.

▪ Setting boundaries to avoid arguments 
Having a plan in place to avoid conflict is always helpful. Agree to take a time out allowing you both to cool off before conversations escalate into arguments. Schedule a time to continue the discussion when you are both feeling calm and ready.

▪ Create new traditions 
Pick a tradition that better suits your lifestyle today instead of one from your childhood. Doing this with your partner with remind them how important they are to you and will strengthen your relationship.

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* Learn to assert your needs and say “no” 
Some of us have a hard time saying no so we don’t upset others. Do not agree to something that you aren’t going to be happy with. This will end up upsetting you and can easily put stress on your relationship..

▪ Acknowledge your feelings The holidays tend to trigger grief reactions of loved ones that we lost. It’s important to be aware of your reactions. Make sure you grieve or help your partner work through their grief reactions..

* Slow down and practice self care 
Carve out at least 15 minutes to unwind and relax each day-do something you enjoy and take care of yourself. Make a list if you have too. Try to prevent doing too much and stressing yourself out.

* Plan Date Nights 
Try to carve out time together and do things you both enjoy. Make sure you and your partner are sustaining the romance and intimacy in your relationship.

Access your Free Guide HERE To Beat The Bickering: 5 Simple and Proven Tips To Communicate Without Clashing

 

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In my experience with couples in relationships, it’s usually the little things that count. Let me tell you a story by way of example… (this is a fictional scenario):

John and Joan have been married for 5 years and are still very much in love. Of course they have arguments and disagreements, as every couple ultimately experiences. Lately, though, they’ve noticed that they have been getting frustrated with each other over the little things. For example, John is a tidy person and it drives him crazy when Joan leaves dishes in the sink or clothes lying around. And Joan gets annoyed when John lets their dog in the bedroom. They brush these niggling frustrations aside, as how bad can conflict get over annoying little habits?

One year down the line and John and Joan are arguing incessantly and have little patience for each other. What has happened to the love and romance? They decide to seek marriage counseling to solve these insurmountable issues and bring them closer together once again.

This conflict situation could have been nipped in the bud, if John and Joan had only dealt with their frustrations earlier on in their marriage. Remember that it takes individual bricks to build a brick wall, so if they had only dealt with each brick one at a time as they stacked up, they would not have had a wall of resentment and frustration to contend with.

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Sadly, many relationships end over trivial matters that escalate over time. So how can couples stop these trivialities from creeping in between them?

• Communicate – deal with your irritations as they appear. Your partner leaves his/her socks lying on the floor? An obsessive TV habit that’s driving you crazy? Tell your partner how it makes you feel. Verbalize what is important to you. But do this sensitively and tactfully!

• Make an effort to change – okay, so your partner has told you that you need to close the lid on the toothpaste, so now what? Do it! Even if it means that you need to make that little bit more of an effort, remember how important it is to your partner and to your relationship. And in return, you will find that your partner will take special care in trying to stop habits that frustrate you.

• Thank each other – notice the effort that your partner is making to keep you happy and verbalize that. Thank your partner – not once or twice, but every time you see him/her attempting to change a habit and let him/her know that you really appreciate it!

Try this relationship advice and you will see that you will feel more loving to your partner and this will bring you closer together.

Remember, it’s the little things that count…

Access your Free Guide HERE To Beat The Bickering: 5 Simple and Proven Tips To Communicate Without Clashing

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