I am Rachel Moheban Wachtel, LCSW New York marriage counselor, and welcome to The Relationship Suite, the place to learn how to create healthy relationships.
This week our question comes from Diane. She writes:
My husband and I used to be very close but we just had our first child a year ago and we’ve drifted apart. We barely speak. We haven’t been intimate in months. I am starting to wonder if he’s cheating on me, but also feel like I’m just being insecure. I really want to get back the intimacy we used to have before our daughter was born. Do you have any advice?
It is not uncommon for many couples that having a child equals stress in the relationship.
First you need to communicate with him and tell him how you feel and how much you want to be intimate with him.
A few things I would suggest saying and asking are:
1. What has he noticed or feels has changed in you and the relationship?
2. What does he miss about you?
3. How can you rekindle your romance?
4. Schedule weekly date nights.
You can also seek marriage counseling, which is a great place to express and process feelings and re-invent the relationship. Additional relationship advice is to start scheduling date nights with your husband to re-establish the intimacy in your relationship
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