As a therapist, I’ve met many couples concerned with weight gain in themselves, their partner, or both people in the relationship. Looking at your relationship from a birds-eye perspective, you’ll see when and how the weight gain happened.

You started your relationship in the romantic love stage. You were passionate and full of desire while you explored your physical and emotional intimacy.

After a few months (or a few years) you move to the “sweatpants” or comfort stage. During this stage, you feel comfortable enough to let your full self come to the surface, you’re able to let your hair down, put on your sweatpants, and stop trying as hard to impress your partner. The comfort stage is where many partners start to pack on the pounds.

Couples don’t need to look attractive and slim to attract a partner, they may feel more comfortable in eating more. If you’ve noticed weight gain seeping into your relationship, there are a few ways you and your partner can actively work together to get back on track.

  1. Kitchens are a great place to rekindle your connection and encourage healthy living. It’s fun to cook together! Explore nutritional recipes together instead of eating out and then spend your date nights in the kitchen instead of in a noisy restaurant.
  2. Exercise together.
    There are plenty of fun new workout classes. From soul cycling to Krav Maga classes explore new workouts that both you and your partner will love doing together.
  3. Date Night.
    Date night doesn’t always have to mean making reservations and going out to eat. Suggest non-food date nights and do something active like long walks in the park, bowling or rock climbing (if you are super fit.)
  4. Go food shopping together.
    Make it a point of buying healthier snacks and avoiding buying processed food. Figure out together what healthy foods you both like and stock up your home.
  5. Communicate.
    Keep your relationship healthy by communicating and speaking up. When we are stressed we tend to care less and pack on the pounds. Communication is key to a successful and healthy relationship.

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