Has Your Relationship Been Shaken by a Betrayal?
- Did your partner have an affair, leaving you feeling devastated and lost?
- Or, did you have an affair and now feel intense guilt and regret?
- Are anger, resentment and despair making it almost impossible to discuss the infidelity?
- Are you struggling with confusion and intense mixed emotions, questioning whether coping with infidelity is even possible?
- Do you wish you and your partner could find a way to heal, reconnect and move forward together?
No matter how or why it happens, infidelity damages trust, which is the foundation of any romantic bond. Now that hurtful secrets have come to light, both you and your partner may fear that your relationship can’t survive.
You might feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, guilt, shame and blame, among so many other swirling emotions. Perhaps it seems impossible to think about anything else as you move through your day.
More than anything, you might feel robbed of security and stability. Your world has likely been turned upside down, making you feel that you no longer recognize yourself or your partner. As time goes on, you might long for forgiveness and healing, but fear that they are too far out of reach.
Affairs Are More Common Than You Might Think
Few people publicaly discuss those times they’ve felt betrayed or participated in a betrayal. In our culture, affairs can trigger a great deal of shame, which only make partners feel more isolated and overwhelmed as they try to cope with their hurt. The truth is, if your relationship has been rocked by infidelity, you are not alone.
Affairs cause feelings of confusion, anger and deep hurt. They can also increase distance between partners. However, this doesn’t mean your relationship has to come to an end.
It is possible to move past an affair with honesty and communication. It’s possible to become open to forgiveness.
Affair Recovery Counseling Can Help You Heal and Rebuild Trust
I have worked with many couples that were able to save their marriage after an affair. If you and your partner have decided that you are committed and want the relationship to work, counseling can be instrumental in rebuilding trust in your relationship.
Couples therapy allows you and your partner to process issues and feelings in a safe, non-judgmental place. You and your partner can begin to understand the affair, grieve and heal.
Right now, it might be difficult for you to comprehend why this betrayal happened. Even if you had the affair, you might feel confused about your own actions. As you begin the process of forgiveness, you and your partner can also learn more about reasons for the affair. That doesn’t not mean either partner will be blamed or absolved. Instead, through highly effect counseling approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Imago Therapy, you and your partner can develop more compassion for each other.
It takes time to re-establish trust, get to know each other again and strengthen your bond. You and your partner have to be honest in order to make positive shifts and repair the relationship. This can be hard to do on your own, especially when you are operating from a place of such deep hurt. But, with the support of a skilled, empathetic therapist, you can even strengthen your relationship and even allow for an openness that you didn’t have before.
You may have questions or concerns about couples or marriage counseling after an affair…
Can counseling do more damage to our relationship?
The goal of therapy is never to make things worse. In a calm, neutral space, I will help you and your partner understand the affair and how it has affected your relationship. If you don’t address the affair, you can’t repair the wounds it has left behind. The process can be painful, but burying your feelings will only make them grow. Identifying and working through the issues related to the betrayal can be instrumental in helping you both move toward lasting healing.
If we try affair recovery counseling, I’ll just be criticized and blamed.
I will provide you and your partner with as safe and non-judgmental environment to help work through the painful aftermath of the affair. I will help you create the boundaries and support needed to address the infidelity, offering you gentle language that can help you put a name to your feelings. Once you have the right tools, you can move safely into the depths of what happened. That’s where true healing begins.
The goal is for you and your partner to learn how to resolve conflict and understand each other better. You can then begin to established renewed safety and security within your relationship, whether you are in my office or not.
We’ve had couples counseling before, and we still ended up here.
If you have tried counseling in the past, it’s understandable that you might feel hesitant to try again. However, you have likely come to this page because you know you need help. And that makes sense—coping with infidelity is undeniably difficult. You don’t have to do this alone.
It’s also important to note that my therapy approaches are proven to be highly effective. If you have never tried EFT or Imago Therapy, you will likely be surprised by the results. I have seen many couples foster renewed care and trust in their relationships. The same is possible for you.
Reach Out and Reconnect