They say that love is blind. Well, at least it starts off that way.
You meet the girl/guys of your dreams, fall in love and can’t get enough of each other.
At this stage, many couples are blinded to each other’s faults and are full of compliments for each other.
The more time that couples spend in a relationship, the more comfortable they feel around each other. This obviously is a good thing, but it also has its drawbacks – the blinders start to come off and partners begin to identify faults in each other. Which in itself can have positive results if you are willing to work on these faults and grow together. The problem comes in when couples become blinded to each other’s positive qualities, and instead focus on the negative, criticize each other and complain.
How can you and your partner break this cycle of criticism?
1) Make the decision – you and your partner need to make an active decision to change this. This may seem simple, but as they say, recognizing the problem is half the battle.
2) Compliment, don’t criticize – look for ways to compliment your partner as often as possible – nothing breaks the criticism cycle better than compliments
3) Criticize constructively – if you’re in a situation when you’d like to point out areas where you feel that your partner could improve, do this in a way that doesn’t come across as critical, but rather as constructive advice. For example, instead of:
You are so untidy. You always leave your clothes lying around!
What would really make me happy is if we could work together to keep our home tidy. How should we split the chores?
Try it, and let me know how it works for you.