Becoming parents is the ultimate bond that can form between two people. Your child binds you to your partner and takes your relationship to a whole new level.
Kids bring such joy into their parents’ lives and take you from being a couple to being a family. Parenthood is a journey that you and your partner will figure out along the way.
Parents often feel responsible when it comes to their children, so parenting decisions are important and often emotionally charged. Two people in a relationship bring with them their background as the basis for their own parenting style. Even though you never truly know how you will be as a parent, you want to understand how you have been shaped and influenced by your upbringing and your own parents.
Our parenting styles is embedded into us through our experience with our own parents. For example, your partner has a very laidback and relaxed parenting style, while you tend to worry a lot more. Underlying values could be conflicting as your partner may feel children should not challenge rules while you may feel they should be allowed to voice their feelings.
So, we may be playing out the same old blueprint without being conscious of whether it is effective parenting. Then there are those parents that are more conscious and question the parenting style they were raised with and try to make improvements.
How do you meet halfway on things that are so ingrained in you both?
The answer is two parents need to merge their styles with some compromising where the child can actually see how differences can become complimentary of the other.
I’m not saying that this will be easy but like everything in life and relationships, it requires a lot of hard work.
It is inevitable that you will always have areas along your wonderful parenting journey that you disagree on – the rule for this is: never argue about them in front of the kids. Always present a united front. This will make for a happier marriage, more secure kids, and a harmonious family life.
If you are unable to resolve your parenting differences, it’s beneficial to seek a third party to help you. If you and your partner have been struggling with relationship problems, we can help guide you in your relationship. We are a group of skilled therapists with over 20 years of experience specializing in couples/marriage counseling in New York City, Scarsdale, East Hampton, Buffalo and Albany. To learn more about our virtual/telehealth or in person services or schedule a complimentary consult CLICK HERE.