How do you develop intimacy when your partner travels frequently?  This question is often the most difficult to face when a partner is on extended military leave overseas.  However, it can also be difficult for partners who have extended conference commitments or journalism assignments around the world.  How do these couples continue to foster intimacy while always being apart?

Step 1: Check yourself on any feelings of distrust that may come from your own history.

If you worry about infidelity or have difficulty with jealousy, look back into your own personal history and acknowledge any prior situations that may have caused these feelings.  You may be pre-disposed to distrusting within a relationship, even if there haven’t been any reasons to distrust your partner.  If this is the case, be very careful and aware not to bring old issues into current relationships.

Step 2: Agree on regular check-in points to keep each other informed.

One of the benefits of being in a relationship while still traveling a lot is knowing that someone is always looking out for you and caring about you.  In order to keep that sense of care alive in your relationship, agree on regular check-in points during travel.  Decide to call or send a text each time a flight leaves on time, or becomes delayed.  Let your partner know when you’ve arrived safely or had an emergency come up while traveling.

Step 3: Share the quirky or common interests you find along the way.

Is your partner a foodie?  Send food photos to share what you’ve been cooking or eating in odd places.  Is your partner a music lover?  Send songs that make you think of them or their favorite artists.  Little moments of connection are built along the way with small sincere moments of taking note of the things that remind you of each other.

If you still feel like the little things aren’t adding up to feeling more connected, try virtual counseling to help sort out the deeper issues that may be getting in the way of feeling that sense of intimacy in your relationship.