When busy schedules and holiday stress creep in, we often forget it’s impact on the romance in our relationship.  Everyday life tasks such as work, finances, and health can affect how we communicate with our partner. It can be extremely easy to neglect a need for romance, especially if you have been together for years. Taking one another for granted and neglecting to remember why and how the relationship began in the first place is one of the biggest mistakes couples make.

Relationships take work

They don’t magically happen the way that fictional fairytales do. What people consider a positive and healthy relationship actually requires effort from both partners to make it grow and work for the long term.  So how do you get that spark back? How do you build something that will last for the long term together and rediscover that intimacy you may have lost? Here are some easy tips to experiencing a much needed breakthrough in your relationship and discovering true connection and intimacy:

Be your partner’s friend

When you first met your partner, you may have been attracted to his or her looks over personality at first. For long-term couples, that lust eventually turns into an appreciation for each other’s personal character, trust-worthiness, or emotional support. It’s important to develop a friendship beyond the initial lust in order to help each other through the bad times and enjoy each other’s company through the good. Take up a hobby together such as karate classes or set a weekly date to see a movie or go out to dinner alone together.

Surprise your partner

Whether your partner is having a bad day, has to work late, or simply looks like he or she needs a pick me up, surprise them with a romantic meal, a massage, sexy lingerie or a weekend getaway. Spontaneous surprises keep the romance alive and create the same sparks that flew when you two first met.

Enjoy change

Change is a natural part of life, but many couples don’t know how to approach it. Sometimes couples grow apart rather than together during life altering events. Instead of despising change, why not embrace and enjoy it instead? Wouldn’t life be boring if everything remained the same? Even if it’s not positive change, throwing away an otherwise great relationship is no way to resolve the issue. Be patient and communicate your concerns in order to find a solution together rather than separately.

Give the gift of music

Create a CD or playlist filled with your loved one’s favorite songs. Play them when he or she arrives home or slip them into their iPod so you’re connected even when you’re not around.

Discuss the future

Talking about the future with one another conjures up feelings hope and excitement. Discuss where you would like to take your next vacation or where you see yourself living in five years. Your discussions will create events to look forward to as a couple rather than leaving the future as a question mark.

If you’d like more personalized ideas and support for keeping the spark alive in your relationship, click to inquire about:  Couples Counseling