Living during COVID has brought a new way of life for all of us. This includes living with our partners in close quarters for long periods of time with very little outlet. Add to this, new anxieties, new fears and new unknowns about the future. This is a recipe for conflict. While not all conflict is bad, it does present the challenge of how to prevent the conflict from becoming hostile and never ending. While more disagreements may happen, this also presents opportunities to improve your communication skills and improve the overall health of the relationship. Follow these tips to help prevent conflict with your partner during quarantine and to help you create a healthier relationship overall.
Create an environment for open communication
Some of the couples we work with at The Relationship Suite have found it helpful to dedicate an hour of time during their week to having a one on one conversation with their partner. During this talk each partner gets their own time to discuss anything that has been bothering them, offer a suggestion on how to change the problem, and the other partner is to listen and validate. This is a chance for both partners to speak openly and air any grievances. This helps to prevent any thoughts from festering, becoming resentments and ultimate leading to conflict.
Maintain a respectful demeanor during heating conversations
While this tip may seem obvious, how we respond during emotionally charged conversations or disagreements can dictate what path our relationship takes. Keep your focus on the dispute or the issue at hand. If you feel like things are getting heated or too emotionally charged, take a break from the conversation and calm yourself down. Take this time to better understand why you are feeling the way you do and then once calmer and more self-aware continue the conversation again with a solution focused mindset.
Agree to disagree and choose your battles
Sometimes you need to take a step back and consider if what you are fighting about is worth the mental effort. If it’s a minor problem, sometimes it is best to let it go. If you will not remember it or be upset about it in a week’s time, then it is probably not worth the energy. You will not agree with your partner about everything and you need to contemplate how important the issue is. This leads us to the next tip, is there a larger issue at hand behind the seemingly smaller problem.
Get to the root of the problem
If you find yourself having a strong emotional response to a small issue or an issue, take some time to do some deep diving into your thoughts. Ask yourself “is this really about x situation” and “what exactly am I feeling”. A lot of times you will find that what you are feeling is an emotion that you did not know you were feeling and that you may not know how to communicate, or, may feel vulnerable in communicating. Getting to the root of the problem helps you understand where larger issues come from so you can better address them.
Disagreements are common in all relationships, however, the way you react to the them determines the health of your relationship. Practicing these four tips will help you and your partner create a healthier relationship. If you are having trouble in your relationship, we can help. Contact us at The Relationship Suite, where we provide couples counseling and one on one counseling.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couples/marriage counseling. Since Covid started we have been working with couples providing Online Couples Counseling in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
Due to Covid we are also providing Virtual Couples Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE