It hurts going through a breakup and you need to mourn but make sure the pain isn’t preventing you from moving forward.
Easier said than done though.
Especially when you feel as though your whole life is falling apart. Not only are you grieving but you’re also dealing with a lifestyle change.
This may sound dramatic but it is not an unrealistic feeling as those who have experienced, or those who are in the midst of experiencing the breakup of their marriage or long-term relationship, could vouch for.
Couples tend to build their lives around each other and when the relationship ends, so do feelings of security and certainty about the future.
Here is relationship advice and concrete steps in healing yourself after your breakup:
- Grieving – accept that you need to grieve. Going through the grieving process is essential and completely normal. You want to feel the emotions of sadness, anger, guilt that you are experiencing as a result of the breakup. Allow yourself to grieve for a healthy amount of time before moving on with your life.
- Don’t maintain contact-keeping an ex in your life and remaining friends may not be a good idea for a while. Many people hang onto the idea of friendship but it just makes it harder to heal. When you are in pain you are more vulnerable and healthy boundaries are necessary to give you the space you need to work through the grieving process. No contact with your ex will facilitate the healing process.
- Remind Yourself: When you are missing your ex remind yourself the reasons you broke up. Did you partner betray you? Was he/she unable to take ownership of issues? Work on forgiving and making peace with what didn’t work in the relationship. Recall the good times in the relationship and remember people come into our lives for a reason and to help us learn good lessons about ourselves and others. You can still love your ex but recognize this alone may not have been enough to make a relationship work. Many other factors and circumstances such as timing, different values. etc., play a role in whether a relationship can work.
Every relationship serves a purpose and reflects back to us our own issues and what we need to work on. Once you’ve rebuilt yourself, you are now ready to find your next love.
If you want to find out more about each of these steps and how to turn them into your reality visit us at the Relationship Suite.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couples/marriage counseling. Since Covid started we have been working with couples providing Online Couples Counseling in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk, Nassau County, Suffolk County, Yonkers, New Rochelle, Westchester County, Scarsdale, Larchmont, Saratoga Springs, Buffalo, Syracuse, Rochester, Albany. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
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