Arguing with your partner can make you miserable, right?

Forget that childhood saying about “sticks and stones.”

In the real world, words do harm and can lead to hurt feelings, resentments and anger.

It’s easy to point fingers and cast blame on your partner for your feelings.

And healthy communication in a relationship isn’t as simple as saying ”I love you.”

How to Have Effective Communication In Your Relationship

It requires you to keep your finger on the pulse of your partner’s feelings and develop positive communication habits.

You want to stop arguing and feel close again.

But how are you supposed to do that between juggling kids, work, and home responsibilities?

It can help you stop arguing and communicate effectively in your relationships, whether you are single or married.

Communication Tool:  The XYZ Statement

Time required to practice: 5 minutes a day

How it works:

Using the XYZ strategy, you 

  1. Take responsibility for your feelings.
  2. Communicate clearly to your partner using the following:
  3. Because of a specific behavior (X) in a specific context (Y), you experienced a specific feeling (Z).

Example: When you didn’t call me (X) to wish me a happy anniversary (Y), I felt angry and unimportant (Z).

As with everything in life, the more you practice, the better you get! 

And the faster you will be on your way to stop arguing and get closer.

Need more support?

If you try this and find that you’re still having difficulty communicating with each other, you can find even more helpful solutions in the Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program.

To learn more about our couples and marriage counseling services, click here.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, call 917-273-8836 or contact us for a complimentary consultation to learn more about our couples and marriage counseling services and how we can help you.