Chances are that some time or other over your relationship, you and your partner will experience dips in physical intimacy. This is normal and needs to be worked on.
Here are some options. Read through, think about it and choose any combination as a starting point to re-rev up your level of physical intimacy as a couple.
· Recount some of the experiences you have shared together in years past. Openly say what drew each of you to the other – what characteristics particularly make your love stand out in your eyes. Although this is an expression of emotional intimacy, one will lead into the other.
· Touch, touch, touch. I’m talking about a backrub or foot massage, a hug, a tousle of the other’s hair, an arm casually put around the other’s shoulder…
· When speaking to each other about every-day occurrences, try to minimize the negative. While we all do have bad days, irritating co-workers and need to battle traffic, it shouldn’t be something we’re harping on as the center of our lives on a daily basis. Sharing positive points of our days, funny anecdotes, and points that we thought our partner would appreciate fosters a better atmosphere at the end of the day.
· Even though it sounds really cheesy, take the opportunity of a quiet moment to stare into each others’ eyes. No giggling allowed. It make take a few attempts, but this can do magic.
· Is there something that is just flat-out turning you off about your partner? Bring it up! You two are in this together for the long haul and it’s worth dealing with these issues, kindly and delicately and growing together from the experience.
Please take the time to read through my other blog entries and gather up a number of strategies to get your intimacy level back on track. Enjoy!
To Greater Intimacy,
Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW
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