Money is often a major source of tension in relationships.
Far too often couples break up over this. Recently, I have been working with a couple that is planning to get married next year. Money has been a source of stress in their relationship since they have different spending styles. They are working on learning how to prevent arguments and work through their differences in order to resolve financial conflicts. An effective way to address the problem is to discuss your money history and philosophy together.
Your financial conflict and your opposing money types are a result of themes and mores learned from your family, religion and culture. If you and your partner want to resolve financial conflict, you must first understand your respective relationships with money. Have a conversation about money, completely apart from the financial conflict at hand. Discuss what your family taught you about money. Did a job loss teach you that money is a dwindling resource? Conversely, did a childhood of affluence teach you that money would always be in abundance? Get down to the essentials. Compare your credit scores without judgment and develop a long-range plan to achieve your collective financial goals.
Remember: Do not allow your current money problem to creep into this discussion. This moment of discovery should be a time for you to get closer to understanding your partner’s money type and closer to your collective financial goals.