David writes: My wife has several close girlfriends and she confides in them about everything. I often feel betrayed that she shares intimate details about our relationship with them and wish she would keep some things sacred to our marriage. Any relationship advice on how I can ask her to do this without sounding too controlling?

David, it is perfectly understandable that you want to defend and preserve your privacy and I have many clients who have complained about this very same issue.

You are right, dictating to her how to behave is not the right approach, however, you can suggest that when she is upset she speak to you first about it and you can try and work on your issues together.

Explain to her that it feels uncomfortable when she talks about you and your relationship with her friends as they are only hearing one side of the story and it is completely subjective and unfair –this is turn influences their opinion of you which can potentially cause tension.

Finally, you can suggest to her that she go to a marriage counseling venue where she could vent, process and speak freely about your relationship. This can make you feel safer, avoid problems and be healthier for the relationship.

Thank you, David for sending in your question. If YOU have a question you’d like me to answer live, please send it to: Rachel@TheRelationshipSuite.com.

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