Learning how to co-parent after a divorce is difficult enough, but when those parents find new partners, compromising with four people can feel like a nightmare.
If you’re the step-parent in this situation, your job is even harder because you might not want to overstep your boundaries.
Have you ever thought, “I worry about step-children ruining my marriage?” Keep reading to learn how you can foster a healthy and happy home environment with your partner.
- Discuss How You Were Raised and What You Believe
The most productive marriages rely on open communication at all times. Talking about you and your partner’s different parenting styles can cause tension. This means you might have more success if you start the conversation by sharing how your parents raised you. During this time, both of you can talk about what you think worked well and what you disagree with as adults.
After you’re more comfortable talking about the subject, you can shift the focus on the two of you and discuss what both of you can do together to be better parents. Remember that being mindful of your tone and body language can help prevent a fight.
- Brainstorm Together and Learn To Compromise
After you and your parenting partner have discussed the pros and cons of different parenting styles, you should have an easier time finding common ground together. Taking the time to create a list of rules and acceptable consequences/punishments as a team can help you avoid disagreements in the future and provide your children with more stability.
- Always Support Each Other
Even if you and your partner work hard to compromise, there will be moments where one partner does something that goes against your rules. The most common time when this problem will arise is when a child misbehaves and a parent responds to the situation out of instinct.
When this happens, it’s important to support your partner in front of your child. Save your disagreements for later when you’re in private so you can look like a strong team. If your child notices that one parent has a more relaxed parenting style, they’ll take advantage of this by testing their boundaries.
- Seek Counseling to Overcome Your Differences
Lots of people are hesitant to seek couples counseling because they feel like it’s only reserved for marriages that suffer and have major issues. It can also be challenging sharing your feelings on how stepchildren can ruin a marriage with a stranger. The truth is counselors have experience helping people overcome both minor and major problems in a healthy way.
Whether you feel like your husband’s discipline is too severe or your wife always disagrees with you, a counselor can help you get your problems out in a safe space. They’ll also be able to give you the tools you need to continue working on improving your marriage.
Step-Children Ruining My Marriage: Now You Can Learn How to Cope
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want step-children ruining my marriage,” now you have a start on how to cope with common issues blended families face.
If you’re ready to become a stronger, happier family, The Relationship Suite can help you take these first few steps. Contact us to learn more about our counseling services and how our experienced counselors can support you through this journey.