Relationship Advice: This weeks question comes from Paul and he writes

Dear Rachel: My wife is constantly nitpicking at me and wanting me to do household chores and never seems satisfied. She also complains about the way I dress, talk and eat my food and it’s starting to wear on me. She sometimes goes into a tirade and cannot stop putting me down saying negative things to and about me to her friends and family. I’m wondering if she even likes me anymore. Do you have any suggestions and relationship advice on how I can control this and stop her from nitpicking?

It is not uncommon for couples to lose sight of the positive attributes of their partner, and nitpick at each other – taking the other for granted.

You need to communicate with her and tell her how she is affecting you. Tell her you feel she is taking you for granted, and you feel she is never satisfied.

A few questions I would ask her are:

  1. Is there something deeper bothering her about the relationship, which is manifesting in the nitpicking?
  2. What are the positive things that she likes about you?
  3. What can you do that will satisfy her? Have her list these things so that you are aware of how she receives love and satisfaction.

You can also talk to her about having fun again in the relationship and try to rekindle some of the beautiful ways you feel in love with each other. You also need to establish rules around keeping the relationship private and sacred where you do not speak ill of each other to friends and family.

Thank you Paul for sending in your question. If YOU have a question you’d like me to answer live, please send it to

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