Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex. – Barbara Cartland

So, like it or not, you’re in a couple’s catch-22.  If you are each starting off at opposite sides of this circle, how can each of you get the physical intimacy that you need without feeling like you’re being fake, caving in or not having your own needs filled?

As always, the solution demands a combination of understanding, communication and patience.  If you and your partner feel stuck in opposite corners on the intimacy issue, it’s time to put the issue on the table and talk it out. 

For whatever reasons, either unknown or assumed, many men and women have very different psychological patterns concerning where physical intimacy fit into a relationship.   Generally, a woman needs to feel loved, appreciated and cared about before she can participate in a physical relationship.  Also generally, a man often seems to need the physical closeness before he can truly open up to a woman.

You may have to cool down the physical and have a few more intimate conversations by trying to:

1.     Understand that your partner is not seeing eye-to-eye with you right now on this issue.

2.     Communicate to each other what the differences and difficulties may be and what you each feel may help the situation.

3.     Be patient and flexible.  Try and put your partner’s requests into practice and cool it a bit until the effects kick in.

Do everything you each can to fill the other person’s needs, and by following these steps, you can begin the problem solving process..

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