There’s no way around it. Any long-term relationship is going to have its challenges. The trick is to be aware of these very normal issues that can and will crop up. With your radar tuned in, you can identify a potential problem while still in its baby stages, rather than waiting until the headache balloons to the size of Montana.
Growing together – as opposed to growing apart: Over the years, people change. That’s the nature of the beast and it makes us interesting beings. What happens fifteen years after you fell in love as hippy wannabes when he’s still into that scene and she feels that middle-aged adults should put that lifestyle behind them? This category would also include differences that develop in parenting philosophies, religious attitudes or the career/relationship balance.
Handling the hurdles:
And over many years, there may be many of them. Changes in physical appearance, illness, loss of employment and caring for elderly parents can all becomes bumps in the road of a happy and healthy relationship.
Pressure from without:
Others telling you what to do, aka butting into your business. This can come from your family, your partner’s family, friends, a boss… advice and occasional suggestions are one thing — dictatorship and intimidation are quite another.
Communication, compromise and understanding really can conquer all and working together, you can turn the bumps into a joyride.
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To Greater Intimacy,
Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW
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