I’ve met so many couples whose main relationship complaint boils down to not feeling appreciated by their partner.  When you’re comfortable in your relationship, it’s easy to take each other for granted and get into a pattern of not expressing appreciation of each other.

So, what can you do to really let your partner know how much you appreciate everything that they do?

The first step is to think about all the things that your partner takes care of (and even better, how about making a list!)  Consider more than just the physical things like taking out the garbage or making dinner.  How about the way she/he is sensitive to your feelings? Or makes an effort to be respectful to you in front of the kids?  Adding up all the small daily tasks and considerations can make a big impact.

Once you have all these things in mind, it will be easy for you to remember when to show your appreciation openly about how much the little every day things mean to you.  The next step is to put that appreciation into actions:

Say Thank You with Sincerity

This seems obvious, but think about how many times the trash goes out or dishes get done without anyone being thanked for doing the work.  Make a point of always saying ‘thank you’ to each other, each and every time that your partner does something that makes life a little easier for you.  Remember that you’d need to do all of it on your own if they weren’t there to help.

Give Compliments Often

Everyone likes to have positive reinforcement!  Complimenting your partner on the things they do well, or the kindness they show to you and others will definitely let your partner know that you appreciate him/her.

Do Something Pleasantly Unexpected

Do something that’s important to him/her.  Flowers for no particular occasion are always a pleasant surprise.  Taking on a chore or task they normally do demonstrates lifting a burden from their plate.  Taking your partner out for dinner on a night they usually have to cook for others can be an unexpected treat.

Anticipate Considerate Actions

Make an effort to work on any habits that annoy each other so that your partner knows that you are mindful of his/her feelings.  For example, if it upsets your husband when you talk on your mobile phone during dinner, make an effort to turn your phone off and put it out of sight during this time.

Say I Love You Every Day

Remember: Say ‘I love you”… with feeling. This may seem like a simple thing to do, but couples often just forget (or struggle to) say these 3 words.  Hearing I love you each day can make a huge impact on your relationship.

Let me know if you have any other ways that you and your partner show each other appreciation. Would love to hear from you!

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